New Year's Eve..and I'm stuck at home. I already had plans for tonight actually, but urm Lim doesnt allow me to go out celebrating, he said its not really appropriate for girls to go out late at night with some random guys whatsoever. But heck I'd be going with my friends all, not only me the only girl. But urgh nevermind. I dont wanna argue.

As for that,he promised he wont be going out celebrating as well, and we would having some sweet moment together on ym after so long he had been busy all. So yeah, I've been home since 6pm, and now is already 10pm, and I'm still waiting for him to wake up. Grr

My head is still haunted by what happened yesterday. It was such a nightmare I tell you, I could feel I was about to collapse, no shit. And I was happy with the decision that I finally made, that I wont break up with him. But urm..I think I'd change my mind now.

I just had a long conversation with my brother, practically he knows almost everything of the story, who's that girl and all, cos she once had been his girlfriend long time ago. So yeah, he must know her quite well, more than I do, right? And as a man, he must understand a bit what Lim has in mind, why did he do that and all. So yeah, I asked him about everything. And the advice he told me is kinda..urmm hard for me to accept.

He said,all this been happening is not because of me or that girl, but it all cos of Lim himself. He's the one that let this all happen. Let's see thoroughly:Lim obviously knows it how that girl's been reacting, how I hate her, and how it affects our relationship. He surely realized that. But why he keep repeating the same mistake to happen again? Why he let the girl came and do the same thing that he surely knew it I would eventually find out and mad? Why?

If he really loves me, he would never let things like that happen again, right? If he really is into me, he would never do things that he knew I would be upset about it, right? AND, he wouldnt befriend with her again if he realized she's the one that's gonna ruin our relationship, right?

Thus,to come and think about it, does he still have some kind of love feelings towars her even a lil bit, or? I dont know. Thats the only thing I can conclude.

So, my brother told me to ask for a break, and let it off for like 2 weeks. We'll see how he would react with the condition, and whether he would begging on me back or not. It's time to give a lesson, to make him realize his mistakes, and to make him remember I'm not that stupid.

Urghh.he still asleep. I dont know whether I'm strong enough to do this. Last night was a hectic, I hate to hear him crying again. But..my brother said, sometimes we need to sacrifice first before living in heaven. Its either now, or he might hurt me again in the future, we would never know right?

God..this is way hard...